Submissions from Week 1 posted here

I am updating the site tonight. I will probably add stuff by tomorrow morning.

Week 3 text message jokes from Last Comic Standing. (Don't pay a buck)

Where does a general keep his armies?

- Up his sleeve-ies

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

- Fsssshhhh.

Where did the cow take his girlfriend on their date?

- To the Moooovies

Comment on these jokes or come up with your own punchlines that are actually funny at misterrandom.com. You can also email your comments to tortilla@misterrandom.com.

Week 2 text message jokes from Last Comic Standing. (Don't pay a buck)

What do you give a pig with a sprained ankle?

- Oinkment

Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?

- Someone told him to get a long little doggie.

When's the best time to go to the dentist?

- Tooth-hurty

Week 1 text message jokes from Last Comic Standing.

What did the tortilla say when it got to the end of the tightrope?

ANSWER: tos-TADA

This unbelievably stupid joke cost a buck to hear the punchline when featured on The Last Comic Standing on June 13, 2007. As a service to those suckers who forked over a dollar to get the punchline, I will be providing the punchlines free of charge here each week from the Last Comic Standing. Why waste a dollar like that anyway?

Here's the other jokes from the same show that also required a text message with a $1 premium fee (or a Google search) for the punchline:

• What's orange and sounds like a parrot
  ANSWER: A carrot
• How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
  ANSWER: A buccaneer (buck an ear)

These jokes were absolutely apalling. Make sure you come back next week for the new punchlines from Last Comic Standing to avoid paying a jaw-droppingly overpriced $1 for what's sure to be another set of ridiculously bad jokes. I've dedicated a bad jokes category on my blog as well to post my reactions to these stupid jokes and for comments.

Contest

Also on the blog I mentioned a contest where I am looking for the best alternative punchline to the tortilla joke. I will paypal the winner $5 next Wednesday night. Also I am looking for a graphic of a tightrope walking tortilla to permanently display on both my blog and this site. I will pay $10 for the best tortilla tightrope walker. View contest details or send submissions to tortilla@misterrandom.com.

It's not often I am so dumbfounded by a bad joke on a TV show that I register a domain name the next morning to honor the joke. This joke was so bad it had to have its own page.